Hello my name is Patricia, and I suffer from AS.
This disease has taken over mine and my son’s life entirely…I would never wish this on anybody, not even my worst enemy. It is an insidious condition which on a daily basis is ever changing…leaving me often times just utterly exasperated and exhausted. That being said, I have vowed to not allow this disease to rule my life any longer…I am taking back my life, and it starts now! So here I am everyone!
I don’t want to write about my daily struggles, nor talk about how I found out I had this disease at the moment…maybe one day down the road I will. I don’t want to place my energies on that right now, I want to look ahead…towards a brighter future.
I find the majority of us sufferers have the same symptoms and struggles, and have the same stories as to how long it took to get a firm diagnosis…and how we all had/have to deal with doctors, family, employers and friends who have no idea what this illness does to a person; mind, body, and soul, nor what it does to their families and finances. It is so destructive, and it’s so easy to fall into the rut of feeling helpless…worthless…alone.
I have lost a lot because of this disease…and many people have walked out of my life in the beginning because things like this makes them uneasy and they can’t cope…others I have let go of because their attitudes were not conducive to me having a positive support system around me. Either way, I am happy they had a role to play in my life (bad and good) and I have now learned from it. I choose to look forward with much hope and faith that I can come to a happy medium with AS…I know I will have my bad days, however I’m determined to have a lot more good days through educating myself, proper diet, exercise and forgiveness to those who don’t understand, and especially of myself, for acknowledging that this is not my fault and I did nothing to bring this disease into my life.
There’s a new peace in my soul now. I have accepted the fact that I have AS, but I have also accepted the fact that I will not let it define me as a person…I am more than just a person with AS, I am a fighter who will not stop fighting to get some of my old life and vitality back.
And to all my AS brothers and sisters out there…I’m sending gentle hugs and prayers for more painless days ahead.
Thank you for listening,
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada