Dave Lovelace
My name is David Lovelace and the summer of 1989 was when I realised I had a problem, the pain I had in my knees and back for a few weeks at a time suddenly didn’t go away. I then stupidly started telling lies about what was wrong with me, I told my friends and family that I had an accident and that’s why I was limping so badly. I was scared and this went on for years, I worked full time and this was destroying me, every day was a ridiculous struggle and eventually in September 2000 after not sleeping for 6 days because the pain had got too much 1 of my managers said what are you doing you’ve got to go to the doctors. I always knew there was something wrong with me but absolute terror stopped me from finding out I didn’t want to know I just kept going and more importantly I needed somebody to tell me to stop and notice how much of a state I was in. I had to face up to my fear and give it a name, diagnosis was quite quick as I was and am hunched over badly so visually my Doctors guess was promptly followed by many hospital visits and then diagnosed with A.S. After trying many drug combinations 1 leading to liver failure, I eventually was put on Enbrel 2 years ago which has helped. I am asked from time to time how painful is it? my reply is I have been in constant pain to varying degrees without a day off for 23 years, I think that makes it clear. I am positive though and since diagnosis have got back some mobility through a lot of stretching and exercise and although unable to work I still try to improve myself. I wrote this poem about 6 months after I was diagnosed and had to leave my job. To all A.S sufferers I feel your pain as we are the only ones who really understand how tough it is to keep going.
Many regards
Dave Lovelace
The Uninvited by ~davel1972
The blackening is here
Shrouding my mind
Pain pulses through me
Making me blind
Cannot shield its terror
No sanctuary for me
I hide with laughter
But you don’t see
The shame i feel
Screams from within
Should i try to explain
But where to begin
I cry out in anger
I cry out aloud
Leave me alone
Let me stand up proud
I hate who i am
Because of you
I fight everyday
What must i do
To stop these thoughts Of being alone
Without invitation My body your home
United Kingdom
Dear Dave,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Simply Amazing..
Sincerely Cookie