Dave Lovelace

My name is David Lovelace and the summer of 1989 was when I realised I had a problem, the pain I had in my knees and back for a few weeks at a time suddenly didn’t go away. I then stupidly started telling lies about what was wrong with me, I told my friends and family that I had an accident and that’s why I was limping so badly. I was scared and this went on for years, I worked full time and this was destroying me, every day was  a ridiculous struggle and eventually in September 2000 after not sleeping for 6 days because the pain had got too much 1 of my managers said what are you doing you’ve got to go to the doctors. I always knew there was something wrong with me but absolute terror stopped me from finding out I didn’t want to know I just kept going and more importantly I needed somebody to tell me to stop and notice how much of a state I was in. I had to face up to my fear and give it a name, diagnosis was quite quick as I was and am hunched over badly so visually my Doctors guess was promptly followed by many hospital visits and then diagnosed with A.S. After trying many drug combinations 1 leading to liver failure, I eventually was put on Enbrel 2 years ago which has helped. I am asked from time to time how painful is it? my reply is I have been in constant pain to varying degrees  without a day off  for 23 years, I think that makes it clear. I am positive though and since diagnosis have got back some mobility through a lot of stretching and exercise and although unable to work I still try to improve myself. I wrote this poem about 6 months after I was diagnosed and had to leave my job. To all A.S sufferers I feel your pain as we are the only ones who really understand how tough it is to keep going.

Many regards

Dave Lovelace

 The Uninvited by ~davel1972

The blackening is here

Shrouding my mind

Pain pulses through me

Making me blind

Cannot shield its terror

No sanctuary for me

 I hide with laughter

But you don’t see

The shame i feel

 Screams from within

Should i try to explain

But where to begin

I cry out in anger

I cry out aloud

 Leave me alone

Let me stand up proud

I hate who i am

Because of you

 I fight everyday

What must i do

To stop these thoughts Of being alone

 Without invitation My body your home

United Kingdom

One Response to “Dave Lovelace”

  1. Dear Dave,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Simply Amazing..
    Sincerely Cookie

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