A.S. Face 0398: Dave Lovelace
My name is David Lovelace and the summer of 1989 was when I realised I had a problem, the pain I had in my knees and back for a few weeks at a time suddenly didn’t go away. I then stupidly started telling lies about what was wrong with me, I told my friends and family that I had an accident and that’s why I was limping so badly. I was scared and this went on for years, I worked full time and this was destroying me, every day was a ridiculous struggle and eventually in September 2000 after not sleeping for 6 days because the pain had got too much 1 of my managers said what are you doing you’ve got to go to the doctors. I always knew there was something wrong with me but absolute terror stopped me from finding out I didn’t want to know I just kept going and more importantly I needed somebody to tell me to stop and notice how much of a state I was in. I had to face up to my fear and give it a name, diagnosis was quite quick as I was and am hunched over badly so visually my Doctors guess was promptly followed by many hospital visits and then diagnosed with A.S. After trying many drug combinations 1 leading to liver failure, I eventually was put on Enbrel 2 years ago which has helped. I am asked from time to time how painful is it? my reply is I have been in constant pain to varying degrees without a day off for 23 years, I think that makes it clear. I am positive though and since diagnosis have got back some mobility through a lot of stretching and exercise and although unable to work I still try to improve myself. I wrote this poem about 6 months after I was diagnosed and had to leave my job. To all A.S sufferers I feel your pain as we are the only ones who really understand how tough it is to keep going.
Many regards
Dave Lovelace
The Uninvited by ~davel1972
The blackening is here
Shrouding my mind
Pain pulses through me
Making me blind
Cannot shield its terror
No sanctuary for me
I hide with laughter
But you don’t see
The shame i feel
Screams from within
Should i try to explain
But where to begin
I cry out in anger
I cry out aloud
Leave me alone
Let me stand up proud
I hate who i am
Because of you
I fight everyday
What must i do
To stop these thoughts
Of being alone
Without invitation
My body your home
United Kingdom
The Faces Of Ankylosing Spondylitis 
Great poem Dave! You are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your story.
awsome and so true of a poem,this is excactly how i feel.thank you!
This says it all. Thank you.
Thank you David Lovelace.
Thank you so much for sharing your poem which tells it all.
“The blackening is here…shrouding my mind.” WE’ve all seen that haven’t we? I hope you can sleep now Dave. Thanks for describing what we all have struggled to describe. That image wasn’t just one I had. We all had it.
Dear Dave,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Simply Amazing..
Sincerely Cookie