A.S. Face 0281: Hannah Hoffman
Sometimes I close my eyes and I picture myself running. I visualize a green pasture with beautiful flowers and rolling hills and sunshine. When I open my eyes reality reminds me that I have AS and running….seems like just a dream. But then I snap out of it and I remember that there is hope and that I should be thankful for modern medicine and a supportive circle of friends and family. I remember that there is God in all his glory in heaven smiling down on me with love and grace. I remind myself that there is no Ankylosing Spondylitis in heaven and that one day I will be pain free….FOREVER. I have just been diagnosed With AS at 23. My pain started at the age of 19 and I will never forget the first time I felt it. I remember walking to my car one day to go to class and a pain shot from my back to my knee and it literally knocked the breath out of me. Little did I know I would struggle so much trying to get a doctor to figure out my medical mystery for the next six years. The pain that was once just in my right side began to attack my left side. Before I knew it my knees were attacked then my hips and then my shoulders. Some days I feel like somebody has thrown me on the ground and kicked the life out of me. I am always tired and before my diagnosis I remember thinking….I cannot be this lazy…something has to be wrong with me. But I admire myself and I admire everyone who suffers with AS because we don’t give up….we fight. I tried everything from physical therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic manipulation, injections, prolotherapy, massage therapy, and I think my most extreme was a 21 day water only fast(please do not try that). I cannot lie to you I am scared….but I am hopeful and I am glad I do not have to face this alone. There are 2 and a half million of us out there going through it together. I am starting Humira and I am hopeful…if this drug does not work I will try others. If none of these drugs work I am so determined I might just create my own drug. : )
I love you all and remember….GOD HAS YOUR BACK!
Raleigh North Carolina United States of America